Still
You did not leave me in anger. You left like a tide, drawn towards the moon of yourself, and i could only stand in the wet sand. Watching the water go.
I had been ready to follow, to pack my whole life into your pockets, to go anywhere your shadow fell. The maps where folded and the boxes where sealed. My heart already unpacked into you.
But there are far roads you must take alone. Doors i cannot pass through even if i so badly want to. This is not my failing but i ache like it is.
I will not stop loving you. I couldnt even if i tried. You live in me the way light lives in glass, a permanent condition.
I am trying to be what you need now, even if it is only a steady hand at the edge of your storm. But my hands are shaking and i cannot stop. I offer you friendship like a cup of water, hoping it tastes sweet to you, hoping you know it is given with my whole heart. But my glass is dirty and the water is tainted. It is not enough.
Everything reminds me. The quiet at night. The way the bed tilts without your weight. The boxes that will never make the trip.
I know you are changing, and i want everything good for you, even if it is far from here. Even if i am not beside you when you arrive.
I have no heart without you, only the space where you lived. Where you will always live.
Even if you never come back.