Sept. 20
My mom has been dead for six months. I cant stop thinking about it, I cant stop wondering if there will be a time in my life that i will have been alive more years without her than i was with her. Its been such a hard week i dont know what to even do about it. I miss my mom so much. Its horrible without her I want to hug her and tell her I love her one last time. On march 18th(the day she died) I was holding her hand and saying goodbye to her while she was brain dead on life support. I didnt really believe she could hear what I was saying, but I started sobbing and saying how much I will miss her and that was the first time I cried while I was in the hospital room with her. But right when I started crying she moved her whole body jolted and she mumbled somthing, her first words for days. I now think she could hear, and im so thankful. The last words she heard me say was how much I love her. Not the nasty child I was to her the last time she saw me while conscious. Nobody understands how I feel. I am so sad but I feel like such a baby if I say it. I just will never be the same. I dont know why I said all of this but I cant think of anything else so sorry for my lack of lame poems for anyone who reads them